How 'Bout Them Red Shirts?

As we come to the end of an eventful week for Thai politics, I've gotta hand it to them- the Red Shirts officially take the cake for most bizarre demonstration tactic in recent history. And it went a little somethin' like this:


8:30 am, Tuesday morning. The leaders of the United Front for Democracy against Dictatorship (aka the UDD, aka the "Red Shirts") got out their needles and their 5-liter bottles for the world's most unorthodox blood drive. Quick note: If you haven't had time to read the news or my last blogs, the Red Shirts are currently laying a non-violent seige on the city of Bangkok, in protest of Prime Minister Abhisit and his administration. So yeah. Back to this blood drive. The Red Shirt party spent 8 hours on Tuesday collecting a total of 300 liters of blood from its supporters. At 4:30 they closed up shop and proceeded to carry the blood in -- get this -- "twelve 5-liter bottles, fifty syringes, and two large buckets" to the Government House. After reciting some "spells and incantations", a barefoot Jatuporn Prompan (one of the UDD's head honcho's) splashed the blood on the ground and gates at the front of the government headquarters. About twenty minutes later, a bunch of dudes in hazmat suits and masks get out their mops and start scrubbin' away at the blood. And that's all, folks.


I know. I'm confused too. But you've gotta give them some credit - the Red Shirts certainly got our attention with this one. And it didn't stop there. Yesterday 65,000 red-clad supporters rode through the streets of Bangkok, crowded onto the back of pick-up trucks, garbage trucks, and anything else that had wheels. Here's some firsthand footage from a street near my apartment building:











Actually looks pretty fun, doesn't it? Plus they're all getting paid to protest- not a bad way to spend a Saturday. And it looks like they may be getting somewhere. Prime Minister Abhisit announced this morning that he will send members of his administration to engage in discussion with UDD (Red Shirt) leaders. Change could definitely be on this country's political horizon. And all it took were a some pick-up trucks and red t-shirts. Oh yeah- and a few thousand cc's of blood.

-C

"Wai" Not?

Like most Asian countries, the Thai culture places a great amount of importance on showing respect. Obedience towards elders and figures of authority is expected, and questioning such people is considered a big "no-no". (Looks like the Red Shirt protestors currently trying to stage a coup d'etat didn't really get the memo on that one, eh?)


One of the most common signs of respect is the wai, formed by putting one's hands together in a prayer-like gesture and bowing slightly to the person you are addressing. Explained by the all-knowing wikipedia.com to have originated from an ancient warrior greeting, the wai has now evolved into something that serves up slightly awkward interactions throughout my daily life. I'll give you a recent, completely fictional scenario to illustrate my point:


Let's say, hypothetically, that you're buying a snack at the 7-Eleven down the street from your apartment. (Yes, the 7-Eleven. It is estimated that Thailand is home to at least 4,000 franchises of everyone's favorite "Slurpee" spot -- that's more than half the number in the entire USA. Just a little fun fact for you to impress people with...Or not.) Anyway, you've finally reached the front of an endless line, and there are tons of anxious customers behind you. (Like the walking pace, I've discovered that inexplicably slow-moving lines are a common theme here too.) You've got your iPod on blast so you don't have to listen to the Thai pop tunes booming from the store's speaker system, and are trying to figure out a way to balance three bags of random crap (the curse of the "7-Eleven snack run") while still having control of said iPod (no pockets because it's too effing hot to wear anything but a dress). Now add to that fun mix an attempt to stuff the handful of coins you got as change into your wallet, and you've got yourself a full-blown coordination catastrophe. But wait- there's more. The guy behind the counter has just wai-ed you as thanks for patronizing his 7-Eleven instead of the one located directly across the street. You don't want to be rude, but you honestly are not sure if you are physically capable of returning this graceful gesture.


"You've got to give it a try!" your cultural conscience tells you.

"Hurry up, dumb-ass!" screams everyone behind you in line. (Of course your Thai isn't yet good enough to pick up dirty insults- ignorance really can be bliss sometimes.)


Finally, determination to show respect for the Thai culture takes over, and you raise both hands to the prayer-like gesture. Because the man behind the counter is older, you remember to put your hands a little higher on your face to show respect for the age difference between you. You shut your eyes for a millisecond, bow your head every-so-slightly, and when you look up -- gone. The dude is gone! After a quick scan you realize that he's moving to the other end of the counter, looking for the bottle of vodka that the impatient man behind you is asking for.


All I have to say is WAAAIIIIII???!!!


Well, at least I (I mean, the person in this completely fiction-based scenario) tried to show some respect for an ancient cultural tradition. Whatever. Good karma.

Even good old Ronald McDonald does the wai.

For further research into the ancient art of wai-ing, I have included this entertaining and informative class project made by Thai students that I found on youtube. It will give you all the tips you need to know about the appropriate way to wai... and then some. Umm. Yeah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6qHRfG6BPc

Thai Time

So after nearly two weeks of living in this country, I've become aware of a few undeniable truths:


1) The music sucks. I'm sorry, but when I'm relieved to hear a "Prince" song playing on the taxi radio rather than the usual nasal-voiced Thai tunes that blast in the supermarket, you know something has gone awry.

2) The people rule. Despite a few farang-haters (see last blog post), I have been greeted with nothing but kindness since I got here. I've had people walk ten blocks out of their way to show me the cheapest hotels, spend an hour trying to explain to me what "stand-by hours" mean when buying a cell phone (it means "battery life." Duh?), and use up their own cell phone minutes to call EVA Airlines and ask where the hell my black duffle bag disappeared to. Seriously. There is a reason why Thailand is known as the "Land of Smiles", and I've been lucky enough to witness it firsthand.

3) There is absolutely no rush. Ever. "Thai time", they call it. Everything, from the people walking on the sidewalk to the line at the ATM, runs at the pace of a small Southeast-Asian snail. I thought the viejos (old folk) in Spain were bad, but DAMN. The Thai's are SLOW. I just don't know how it's possible. Sometimes I'm really afraid that I'm going to end up back at my apartment because the person in front of me on the sidewalk is actually walking BACKWARDS. It actually goes against the laws of physics.



So why is "Thai time" so relevant these days? Well. Remember the non-occuring political armageddon I wrote about? The Red Shirt protest that ended up being nothing more than an endorsement for the incense and candle industry? Yeah, about that... It seems they were just running on "Thai time" as well. It is anticipated that starting around 6 am tomorrow (Friday) morning, the city of Bangkok will be filled with hundreds of thousands of Thaksin-supporting Red Shirts protesting his recent conviction. And from what I've assessed, these people are not coming to light incense. Blockades are being placed, police are on alert, and classes are being cancelled. Even the sidewalks are slowly emptying of the slow walkers I feel like pushing over every day on my way home. Something big is about to go down in this city, and we'll see if it still feels like the "Land of Smiles" after tomorrow.


So there you have it. Three undeniable truths, plus some ominous language that is intended to make you all worry terribly about me and send me care packages in the mail. But seriously. This is history in the making, people, and I'll be bringing it to you from the front lines. So can you all send some good vibes this way and let's hope that "Thai time" makes this protest into one lonely red-clad man shaking his fist at city hall? Thanks and love.




-C

To Barter or Not to Barter?

That, my friends, is the question.


Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
being charged a ridiculous amount for my iced coffee
Or to take arms against the Thai street vendor
and by opposing get back the extra 15 baht he decided to charge me today
For no apparent reason.


...Interesting how a few key word changes can alter a famous Shakespearean soliloquoy into a description of my unending sorrow at being charged arbitrary prices for Thai iced coffee. Literary blasphemy? Perhaps. A true expression of my emotional state this morning? Most definitely.


Here's how it went down:

It's 8:15 am on a Sunday. I'm standing outside the building of my CELTA course, sweating in a blouse and pants in the 95 degree heat. Because I was the lucky person who was last to sign up to observe an English class being taught (a requirement for my course), I had to drag my butt out of bed at the crack of dawn and come watch some sweaty dude teach four half-asleep students about indefinite articles on the one day I would normally get to sleep in. Guess what kind of mood I'm in.

The only thing in this world, in this universe, in this galaxy that can cheer me up right now is an iced coffee. I mean, when it comes to iced coffee, the Thai's have got it going on. Filled with about three cups of sugar and half a can of condensed milk, these things are like liquid crack, with a pretty pink straw serving as the crack pipe. But I digress...

After elbowing the other liquid crack addicts to keep my spot in "line" (basically a haphazard swarm of crazy-eyed coffee fiends), I make my way to the front. In my hand I've got the necessary currency -- a hundred-baht note, from which I will be charged the usual yee-sip (twenty) baht selling price that is not only advertised on the sign, but charged of every customer.

That is, every customer except me. After reaching out to grasp the plastic cup of perfection, I drop the bill into the coffee slinger's hand. We lock eyes in a penetrating stare for the next four seconds. Oh crap. I recognize that look.

"Yee-sip baht, chai mai?" (Twenty baht, right?) I manage to get out.

"Farang." ("Foreigner.") He spits out at me, and hands me back 65 baht in change. He then smiles and goes back to his business, leaving absolutely no room for discussion.

Ah, yes. And so the curse of the farang strikes again.



You see, when you're a white girl in Thailand, you can pretty much guarantee that there are no guarantees. Food prices vary based on the mood of the street vendor, admission fees for tourist sites seem to change with the sun's position in the sky, and taxi prices? Forget about it. There's a fee for the toll for the meter for the gas tank charge, blah blah blah blah


Basically, being a farang in this city is total B.S. And the little "political science student" voice in my head is screaming "JUSTICE! THIS WILL NOT STAND!"

But here's the thing-- when it comes down to it, is bartering with the people who seem to get off on ripping off really worth the hassle? When the currency rate is 33 baht to the dollar, and the guy working on the street corner is trying to charge me the equivalent of an extra 45 U.S. cents as a farang-fee, am I really going to fight him on it? Am I that much of a d-bag to actually stand in that iced coffee line and demand that I be given my "chump change"?

For now, at least, here's my answer: nope. I'm gonna take a chill pill and let these people rob me blind. Because with the currency rate as it is, I think I've got quite a bit of mileage left in these eyes before that happens. Who knows? Maybe the guy behind the vendor counter is using his extra farang allowance to put his kid through college. Maybe he's in debt from buying too much delicious condensed milk this month. The point is, this guy probably needs it more than I do anyway, and I'm not gonna fight over some annoying thing called "principle." Plus, I'm addicted to the iced coffee.
















Reclining Buddha wouldn't yell at some dude about charging him too much for iced coffee...

A Lot of Smoke, No Fire

I'm sure you all subscribe to the Bangkok Post's daily newsletter, but just in case you haven't renewed your subscription, I'm going to give you a little crash course in current Thai politics. Don't worry, it'll be quick and painless, and then I'll go right back to the usual ramblings about meat on a stick. Ready? Here we go:

• The Name: Thaksin Shinawatra, former Prime Minister of Thailand (2001-2006)



• The Game: Corruption of power



• The Teams: The United Front for Democracy against Dictatorship (supporters of Thaksin, also known as the "Red Shirts" because of their chosen clothing symbol) vs. the People's Alliance for Democracy (those who are anti-Thaksin, also known as the "Yellow Shirts" after their symbolic clothing article)



• What the heck is going on: On Friday, February 26th, the Thai Supreme Court ruled that former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra was guilty of using his political power to advance his business aspirations and fill his wallet. Prior to becoming Prime Minister in 2001, Thaksin was a pretty big hot-shot in the business world. Founder of ShinCorp, one of Thailand's largest telecommunications conglomerates, Mr. Shinawatra was already livin the high life when he assumed office. However, while in office, it seems that the dude got a little big for his britches and made some shady deals that ended up greatly benefiting him. It also so happens that these deals had some bad repercussions for the Thai economy, one of the reasons he was ousted in a bloodless coup in 2006.



• SEX, VIOLENCE, AND EXPLOSIONS: Or, at least, two out of the three. Just thought that might be a catchy way to keep you reading. By the way, if you are still following this, give yourself a pat on the back. Anyway, apparently Friday's ruling has been like a looming armageddon among Thai citizens for quite some time. As Thaksin-supporting "Red Shirts" were very angry about the fact that he was even on trial, citing corruption at all levels of politics, it was expected that a guilty ruling would produce mass chaos and end-of-the-world scenarios. International newspaper headlines were calling February 26th "D-Day" for the Thai political scene. The world was ending, and I was about to land in the middle of it.



• Here's why I love Thailand: Sure, a couple of home-made firework bombs were thrown onto the sidewalk at empty parts of town Friday night. Whoop-dee-doo. However, while reading a popular Thai newspaper the day after the ruling, here is what the official call to action was from the "Red Shirt" camp. Are you ready for it? It's pretty intense:
  
  

"We must light incense and burn candles in protest."

Yup. That's it. All that talk of doom and gloom, when all we had to worry about was some fragrant smoke wafting through the balmy Bangkok air.

Can we all convert to Buddhism? Like, now?

-C

I mean, honestly, we were afraid of people who supported this guy? He is so precious, I really just want to pinch his little cheeks.